Going to the airport is always a unique experience. For me, it may be unique, but for someone else, it can be different. Usually it’s an adventure. This time, it was a bit more subdue. However, it still had its moments. This story is being told in real time with my Sprint Treo at the moment these events take place. Fast typing allows for this.
CHICAGO - 6:15 AM - On the Red Line heading up to my connection point at Fullerton. Very few people on the subway right now, so it makes for a quiet commute. They obviously don't know what it's like between 7 and 9 AM when the CTA trains resemble a scene out of the movie Animal House.
The conductor seems to be going at a good pace. An hour from now, he would be lucky if the train could go 30 MPH. If his day consists of making 4 or 5 laps back and forth through the city and that's it, perhaps he is trying to get out of work early.
Hey, you have to give the man credit for trying.
I'm able to relax my travel bag on the seat next to me and if I really wanted to be so bold, put my feet up on the seat and stretch out. I don't think I will go that far, but this ride is actually getting better considering the fact that I don't see a homeless beggar or loud ghetto woman screaming on her cell phone to her girl about something her man did or did not do:
The conductor seems to be going at a good pace. An hour from now, he would be lucky if the train could go 30 MPH. If his day consists of making 4 or 5 laps back and forth through the city and that's it, perhaps he is trying to get out of work early.
Hey, you have to give the man credit for trying.
I'm able to relax my travel bag on the seat next to me and if I really wanted to be so bold, put my feet up on the seat and stretch out. I don't think I will go that far, but this ride is actually getting better considering the fact that I don't see a homeless beggar or loud ghetto woman screaming on her cell phone to her girl about something her man did or did not do:
"Girl, I'm going to get his ass! He doesn't know now, but I'm going to get him on that shit next week!"
It's been about 6 stops in and the ride continues to be going smooth. So this is what I have been missing out on? I may want to rearrange my work schedule so I can start earlier in the morning instead!
It's been about 6 stops in and the ride continues to be going smooth. So this is what I have been missing out on? I may want to rearrange my work schedule so I can start earlier in the morning instead!
It can't hurt to ask, can it?
But then I think about it and waking up at 5:30 AM would likely rank among my all-time dumbest decisions ever, right alongside asking that one waitress out a few months back (I'll get into that another time). Reality check is needed here. I've only gotten less than four hours of sleep, so perhaps all rational thought has been eliminated.
At least until I eat a McDonald's sausage biscuit. That ought to cure everything.
6:37 AM - It's time to make the connection to the Brown Line so I can take that and then make a connection to the Orange Line. At the rate were going here with all these colors, it won’t be long before I may want to propose that the CTA use those crazy nonsensical colors that you see in those Crayola boxes of 96 or more (BTW, who really needs 96 crayons anyway?).
It doesn't have to be for a long time, just for a weekend or two to confuse people for the hell of it. Imagine saying that you are taking the "Magenta Line"? Or how about the "Seaweed Line"? Now that would be something.
The Brown Line at this early morning hour has considerably more people than the Red (take that Red!). Douchebaggery not in full effect here either. Still, give it an hour.
Now I'm thinking to myself, what the hell am I thinking going to Pittsburgh THIS weekend? I am giving up my first Yankees-Red Sox weekend in seven years and missing the Giants game at Soldier Field Saturday night for THIS?
Seems like an odd trade off doesn't it? I loved my Pittsburgh visit last year and vowed to come back later that year (damn Heinz Field and Stubhub charging the moon for Giants-Steelers tickets), but this was my only chance.
Besides, after next weekend I will be on essentially a four-month social life sabbatical because of the new internship.
This wouldn't have been that way until I got an email from my coordinator who asked me if I could switch my Saturday schedule from 12-7 to 2-10, eliminating me any debauchery I would like to partake in that night.
My party life is now going to consist of one night, Friday. Even then, I still have to wake up in one piece and be coherent enough to function. It is a sacrifice I am willing to make. It's not as if I could have said, "No, I'm going to church."
That would have been future career suicide before it ever started. If there were ever a situation where a living person would be signing their own death certificate, that would have been me.
I'm already giving up the Yankees playoff run as it is and freezing all potential road trips, so what was one more sacrifice? Just feed me and I'll be content.
7:20 AM - I have arrived at Midway. You know, the travel was not as brutal as I thought. This only took an hour. Originally, I had budgeted out an hour and a half because the subway service here sucks. Today though, they have exceeded my expectations, which is the equivalent of Vin Diesel making a good movie.
I hate morning flights, mainly because I am forced to get up early (Like today? Yes. Today) but after endless drama with midday flights delaying at airports, I have caved in and sacrificed the extra four hours of sleep in exchange for not having to spend it on a Tarmac. Or at the gate with the intercom saying, "Attention passengers, we are being delayed for no good reason. Even if we knew, we probably would not tell you anyway."
Now for the fun part...sort of. I bought my ticket from Southwest Airlines again. The last time we danced, I was not aware that you can check in on your own and so I ended up being in the final group that boarded when I nearly missed my flight because of bad weather and stupid CTA drama.
This time. I came prepared. I checked in last night and printed my boarding pass with the last remaining ink my "printer-that-I-never-use" could churn out. It says "Group B", so perhaps I won’t be stuck with a stupid middle seat squeezing my frail ass in between a combination of Rosie O'Donnell and Vito (Joe Gannascoli) on each side. Let's just say, it’s not the most comfortable situation ever.
7:57 AM - This is amazing. I was able to get to the airport, get through the maze that is entering Midway Airport, and the finally getting to the part where you are actually inside. It reminds me of the event "The Maze" on American Gladiators. At any moment, I was expecting either Laser or Gemini to pop out with a foam cushion and hitting me in the head.
Unlike last time when I was utterly unprepared for the "Southwest Experience", I was set. The line moved fast and I got through the line in two minutes. Check -in lasted 60 seconds and I was given B-19 as a position. Is this good?
I passed the security checkpoint, but I did find it odd that the security guy was taking an awfully long time looking at my ID and ticket. Was this dope falling asleep? If so, I feel his pain if he was tired, but if he thought I was someone else, how the hell was he going to prove it anyway? This was starting to piss me off.
Thank goodness for these shoes I bought a few months back that don't have any laces. This has saved me at least two minutes in my travel. Certainly a positive.
You know you are at the airport when the $0.99 sausage biscuit is now $1.80. To this I said, "Damn, it was fun while it lasted." Got my juice and sandwich (talk about breakfast of champions).
I get to the gate and it was not packed at all. Another good sign for me. I wonder if I should play some lottery numbers tonight with all the good luck I'm having. Southwest even has a section where you can sit down, plug in the laptop, and relax.
Sold!
I took a few minutes and read the morning papers online. Not sure if you have to pay for their Wi-Fi, but I have vowed never to pay for that service now that I can use my phone as a modem and use it that way. All about saving a few pennies.
8:45 AM - Time to board. However, I can't go too far yet. Southwest boards by letter and number. It follows an alphabetic and numeric sequence:
Looking at my ticket, I have B-19, so I'm in pretty good shape. My line is small and no congestion so I can breathe a little bit. When I get on, I'm making a beeline for the window seat if it’s available.
9:30 (now 10:30 EST) AM - The flight is about 40 minutes in and things couldn't be better. I lucked out and have a whole row to myself!
Break out the happy dance!
No real food on the flight outside of peanuts. For some reason, it looks like they have even shrunk the size the peanut bag. Has it gotten this bad? You are better off giving me some Skittles and calling it a day.
The flight attendant asked if I want something to drink 20 minutes ago. Time has passed and the orange juice didn't arrive. I thought she heard me. Not that I was looking for some to drink anyway. Like the time in Swingers when Jon Favreau ordered that drink in the casino, lost most of his money and later told the waitress, "I didn't even want it. I just wanted to order it."
PITTSBURGH 11:12 AM - I have arrived in Pittsburgh. It's sunny, but it is scheduled to storm later tonight, which is like putting syrup on a turd and attempting to call it pancakes.
Why was their weird turbulence? I was trying to take a 15-minute nap and the plane kept shaking. It's not raining, but maybe the pilot was having a bad day too.
The only thing that will suck is waiting the 10 minutes to get off (like right now as I wait for these other dopes to hurry up and leave) because I chose to sit in the back of the plane.
Oh well, just a small setback on what otherwise should be a great weekend.
Where's my IC Light and Primanti's sandwich?
No worries. I am happy to be back here again. Two days of fun in of one of my new favorite cities. I'm curious to see what's in store.
At least until I eat a McDonald's sausage biscuit. That ought to cure everything.
6:37 AM - It's time to make the connection to the Brown Line so I can take that and then make a connection to the Orange Line. At the rate were going here with all these colors, it won’t be long before I may want to propose that the CTA use those crazy nonsensical colors that you see in those Crayola boxes of 96 or more (BTW, who really needs 96 crayons anyway?).
It doesn't have to be for a long time, just for a weekend or two to confuse people for the hell of it. Imagine saying that you are taking the "Magenta Line"? Or how about the "Seaweed Line"? Now that would be something.
The Brown Line at this early morning hour has considerably more people than the Red (take that Red!). Douchebaggery not in full effect here either. Still, give it an hour.
Now I'm thinking to myself, what the hell am I thinking going to Pittsburgh THIS weekend? I am giving up my first Yankees-Red Sox weekend in seven years and missing the Giants game at Soldier Field Saturday night for THIS?
Seems like an odd trade off doesn't it? I loved my Pittsburgh visit last year and vowed to come back later that year (damn Heinz Field and Stubhub charging the moon for Giants-Steelers tickets), but this was my only chance.
Besides, after next weekend I will be on essentially a four-month social life sabbatical because of the new internship.
This wouldn't have been that way until I got an email from my coordinator who asked me if I could switch my Saturday schedule from 12-7 to 2-10, eliminating me any debauchery I would like to partake in that night.
My party life is now going to consist of one night, Friday. Even then, I still have to wake up in one piece and be coherent enough to function. It is a sacrifice I am willing to make. It's not as if I could have said, "No, I'm going to church."
That would have been future career suicide before it ever started. If there were ever a situation where a living person would be signing their own death certificate, that would have been me.
I'm already giving up the Yankees playoff run as it is and freezing all potential road trips, so what was one more sacrifice? Just feed me and I'll be content.
7:20 AM - I have arrived at Midway. You know, the travel was not as brutal as I thought. This only took an hour. Originally, I had budgeted out an hour and a half because the subway service here sucks. Today though, they have exceeded my expectations, which is the equivalent of Vin Diesel making a good movie.
I hate morning flights, mainly because I am forced to get up early (Like today? Yes. Today) but after endless drama with midday flights delaying at airports, I have caved in and sacrificed the extra four hours of sleep in exchange for not having to spend it on a Tarmac. Or at the gate with the intercom saying, "Attention passengers, we are being delayed for no good reason. Even if we knew, we probably would not tell you anyway."
Now for the fun part...sort of. I bought my ticket from Southwest Airlines again. The last time we danced, I was not aware that you can check in on your own and so I ended up being in the final group that boarded when I nearly missed my flight because of bad weather and stupid CTA drama.
This time. I came prepared. I checked in last night and printed my boarding pass with the last remaining ink my "printer-that-I-never-use" could churn out. It says "Group B", so perhaps I won’t be stuck with a stupid middle seat squeezing my frail ass in between a combination of Rosie O'Donnell and Vito (Joe Gannascoli) on each side. Let's just say, it’s not the most comfortable situation ever.
7:57 AM - This is amazing. I was able to get to the airport, get through the maze that is entering Midway Airport, and the finally getting to the part where you are actually inside. It reminds me of the event "The Maze" on American Gladiators. At any moment, I was expecting either Laser or Gemini to pop out with a foam cushion and hitting me in the head.
Unlike last time when I was utterly unprepared for the "Southwest Experience", I was set. The line moved fast and I got through the line in two minutes. Check -in lasted 60 seconds and I was given B-19 as a position. Is this good?
I passed the security checkpoint, but I did find it odd that the security guy was taking an awfully long time looking at my ID and ticket. Was this dope falling asleep? If so, I feel his pain if he was tired, but if he thought I was someone else, how the hell was he going to prove it anyway? This was starting to piss me off.
Thank goodness for these shoes I bought a few months back that don't have any laces. This has saved me at least two minutes in my travel. Certainly a positive.
You know you are at the airport when the $0.99 sausage biscuit is now $1.80. To this I said, "Damn, it was fun while it lasted." Got my juice and sandwich (talk about breakfast of champions).
I get to the gate and it was not packed at all. Another good sign for me. I wonder if I should play some lottery numbers tonight with all the good luck I'm having. Southwest even has a section where you can sit down, plug in the laptop, and relax.
Sold!
I took a few minutes and read the morning papers online. Not sure if you have to pay for their Wi-Fi, but I have vowed never to pay for that service now that I can use my phone as a modem and use it that way. All about saving a few pennies.
8:45 AM - Time to board. However, I can't go too far yet. Southwest boards by letter and number. It follows an alphabetic and numeric sequence:
Looking at my ticket, I have B-19, so I'm in pretty good shape. My line is small and no congestion so I can breathe a little bit. When I get on, I'm making a beeline for the window seat if it’s available.
9:30 (now 10:30 EST) AM - The flight is about 40 minutes in and things couldn't be better. I lucked out and have a whole row to myself!
Break out the happy dance!
No real food on the flight outside of peanuts. For some reason, it looks like they have even shrunk the size the peanut bag. Has it gotten this bad? You are better off giving me some Skittles and calling it a day.
The flight attendant asked if I want something to drink 20 minutes ago. Time has passed and the orange juice didn't arrive. I thought she heard me. Not that I was looking for some to drink anyway. Like the time in Swingers when Jon Favreau ordered that drink in the casino, lost most of his money and later told the waitress, "I didn't even want it. I just wanted to order it."
PITTSBURGH 11:12 AM - I have arrived in Pittsburgh. It's sunny, but it is scheduled to storm later tonight, which is like putting syrup on a turd and attempting to call it pancakes.
Why was their weird turbulence? I was trying to take a 15-minute nap and the plane kept shaking. It's not raining, but maybe the pilot was having a bad day too.
The only thing that will suck is waiting the 10 minutes to get off (like right now as I wait for these other dopes to hurry up and leave) because I chose to sit in the back of the plane.
Oh well, just a small setback on what otherwise should be a great weekend.
Where's my IC Light and Primanti's sandwich?
No worries. I am happy to be back here again. Two days of fun in of one of my new favorite cities. I'm curious to see what's in store.
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