Carl decided to head to Minneapolis for a little R&R. The Giants by coincidence happened to be playing there...so maybe it wasn't. The trip had a little turbulence at the start, but by the end was a whole lot of fun.
MINNEAPOLIS – Perhaps I should make a mental note to myself when I decide to head to the upper Midwest in the months of November and December.
Carl, DO NOT do it!
Ok, it wasn’t THAT bad. When you’re wearing a coat better designed for a 35 or 40-degree day then let’s say, oh I don’t know, 10. That is probably going to be problem.
Besides that, spending time in Minneapolis for the first time was a pretty cool experience despite the fact I was mere seconds away from turning into an icicle on Saturday night and Sunday morning. As someone who travels plenty throughout the country, I had never found my way to the Twin Cities mainly because I could never find time or ever had a reason for going. I had tickets when the Yankees played the Twins up there in 2003 and 2004 for the playoffs but sold them off at the last minute.
A group of nine of us made it to St. Louis for the Giants game against the Rams in September. This time, I again rallied some of my friends in Big Blue Nation and decided to head up to The Metrodome for another road trip to see them close the season out against the Vikings.
Originally, there was going to be six of us. But on the Friday before we left, one of the guys backed out and said he couldn’t go. He didn’t give a reason and then wanted all of his money back for the hotel and ticket for the game. Are you kidding me? Mind you, when you buy a hotel room from Hotwire (the site I used) to order the room(s), the charge is non-refundable. Everyone (I think) would know that, but for some, things are never as clear as they seem.
I have certain rules when it comes to travel trips:
1. Read all of the information I give you so there is no confusion.
2. You had better be 100% on going before I put my charge card to anything. No bullshit.
Simply put, if you cannot commit to those two things, don’t waste my damn time. I don’t need you or want you to be a part of any trip that I am creating. If you back out last minute, the charge still applies to you. If you don’t like it, that is not my problem.
It’s not as if I can pull someone out of the blue on less than 24 hours notice and say the following:
“Hey, would you like to go to Minnesota this weekend?”
It doesn’t work that way. Order your own shit and meet us up there if you are going to pull that.
Also, you don’t think when I plan the next trip, I’m not going to think twice before deciding whether to include you? All of our individual costs are bumped up when that happens and it’s the easy way to get on what I term, “The Banned List.”
My two friends Will and Anthony had some drama getting into Chicago before heading to Minnesota. Will’s airline had to be rerouted the night before because of massive fog and was flying in on road trip morning. Both he and Anthony miraculously survived their morning flights without death, phobia or serious illness or injury. I believe that airlines count that as a victory these days.
For the first few hours of the drive, we drove through massive rains and dense fog that nearly blinded our vision. When we couldn’t see the cars in front us, I immediately started thinking the worst. How Mike was ever going 60 MPH was a miracle in itself. When I looked at the clouds darken as we got out of one rough patch and into another, I kept thinking about Chucky in those Child's Play movies when he was trying to transfer his body out of the doll and onto the little kid and you just see the clouds outside turn dark grey. How that movie popped into my head, I’m not sure.
On the road, we stopped by a Subway in some small Wisconsin town that has a food plaza. Did you know that some places do not offer the company's signature promotion of “$5 Footlongs?”
How is this possible?
The company has spent millions of dollars trying to get that damn song etched in everyone’s head (except mine since I have Tivo and was ignorant of the ad until a few weeks ago) and now they don’t even serve it? This is crazy! Not to mention that they didn’t even accept coupons for their food. The quicker I got out of there the better.
It took about seven hours to finally get into downtown Minneapolis. On the street, it was literally a ghost town just like St. Louis was. I don’t even know why they call it downtown in some of these Midwest cities. There isn’t much going on there. From Milwaukee to Cleveland and now St. Louis and Minneapolis. Call it something else, but don’t call it that. It gives me the impression that you have something interesting there until I find there is nothing.
We stayed at the Crowne Plaza hotel and it was a nice place. Upon arrival, we bumped into one Giants fan (I think I know where she ordered her hotel stay from) and were settled. For the night, we all wanted to go out and chill and with the help of my buddy Mike’s Minnesota friend, we found a few places to check out.
Apparently, the trendy neighborhood in Minneapolis is called Uptown, which is where we found ourselves. As I looked around, it looked a whole lot like a lower class version of Forest Hills (New York) than anything hip. I thought I was back on Queens Boulevard. Of course, this WAS the Midwest and Minneapolis, so I had to remember where I was. You can’t ask for Filet Mignon at McDonalds.
There were two places we visited – William’s Peanut Bar (which was crowded beyond belief) and Stella’s Fish Cafe. The place (William's) looked like a dressed up hole to begin with, but we were going to try and make the best of it. But when we went downstairs, it reminded me a little too much of my past.
At St. John’s, we used to have an old watering hole called Gantry’s Pub. Essentially, it was like drinking beer inside of a sewer with other people who just happened to be there. Now, think of Gantry’s only four or five times bigger. It was just disgusting. Cover your nose, watch your feet and be careful where you were sitting. I knew something was a little off when there was an open table that was being vacated because of a leaky faucet eight feet off the ground next to it.
I was a little disappointed in the quality of good-looking women the town had. Don’t get wrong, there were a lot of them that made me question where the hell they all came from. But the problem I began to notice was that nearly 90% of them were straight blonde. Nothing against girls who (real or fake) have that specific look, but as someone who likes variety, this was disappointing. Put some highlights to make it look less Paris Hilton (by the way, she is not hot) and a little more Jessica Biel (before the hair dye). Can I get a few more brunettes and girls with darker hair around here? Why do I only find them in New York, Boston, Philly, DC, Miami and LA?
That’s like five places!
You may be wondering why I didn’t put Chicago on that list. Here’s why. After sampling five of the seven big Midwest cities, it’s not hard to notice that the blonde population towers over everything else. As one person put it to me, “It must be the farmer’s daughter syndrome”.
As Bill Belichick says, “It is what it is.”
Mike’s friend explained to me why the ratio seemed to be as disproportionate as I perceived it. As it turns out, many Minnesotans’, have ancestry from Norway and some other countries who families just happen to be straight blonde.
It wasn’t that those women were not hot (most of them were), it was just that after I saw a few too many, they all pretty much looked the same to me. This is never a good thing. It may be for some, but as someone who likes to sample everything, I would rather the ratio not be as lopsided as it was. There’s only so much cake you can eat before you get stuffed and get turned off by it.
On Sunday morning, we made the trip down to The Metrodome for the game. It was about 10 degrees outside and all I still had on was my little jacket.
I guess it wasn’t 60 degrees anymore.
Most of the fans were pretty nice before the game and didn’t say anything to us. When we got in front of the stadium, I broke out our Super Bowl Champions flag to take a picture with all of us included. This pissed off some of the Vikings fans who felt a bit taken aback by this.
I loved it.
The Metrodome is not a terrible place for a game as we made our way to our seats. It is definitely in need of a replacement because of the lack of concessions and congested space in the walkways. When we got to our seats, we notice a flier from the Vikings asking for a petition to be signed for a new stadium. With few luxury boxes, their money flow is going to be limited for the foreseeable future as these other teams print money from the extra revenue.
With nothing on the line for the Giants, it was the first time I was able to watch a game stress-free in a long time and just had fun with it. They got down 10-0 and got within 10-9 at halftime before David Carr replaced Eli Manning for the second half.
In our seats, we had some nice give and take with some of their fans. One fan tried to take me on telling me to “Watch this” when the Vikings took the field for a drive in the second quarter. I responded by saying, “Watch this? What, you (the Vikings) going three and out?”
The plays later, the Vikings punted.
The guy just put his hands in the air and shrugged. It was good-natured stuff. When they would boo us heading up the stairs, it was one of those playful boos where even they knew they weren’t being serious. The lady in front of us obvious had not seen behavior like this before, and was even more stunned when I referred to the Vikings playoff berth as “anal” as the Texans were leading the Bears by 14 points with 2:00 left.
In our game, the backups played great. They even led 19-10 before the Vikings answered with a touchdown to close within two points. John Carney missed his first legitimate kick of the season (which I still think is a good thing) with 3:12 remaining and the Vikings were able to drive down and eventually kick a game winning 50-yard field goal as time expired to win the game.
Vikings 20, Giants 19.
Nothing to be upset about. That team was fighting for its playoff life against a bunch of second stringers and was only able to come away with a one-point victory. What does that say about them? That must have been why we didn’t get any razzing as we left the place.
They knew better.
So ended another road trip. It was another rousing success amidst the drama that we had the day prior. On the way back, I was reminded that eating McDonald’s chicken nuggets is probably not the best idea in the world. That damn commercial got into my head after seeing it for the 9,000th time.
Chomping down 20 of those little things, large fries and a 32-ounce Coke in a span of 10 minutes while the car is going 70 MPH is a recipe for disaster.
Thank goodness, it never got that far.
By shortly after midnight, I arrived at my house safe and sound, and happy that I had closed my window to avoid the downpours that had descended upon the city just 24 hours prior.
While the football chapter of the 2008 road trips closed, I am excited about what 2009 will bring. Yankees trips will begin in April and take me right through the year again. A glance at the schedule showed Giants road games in the regular NFC East opponents along with stops to Tampa, Minnesota (again), Kansas City, Denver and New Orleans.
New Orleans is on the top of the list for trips next season. Who knows what the hell will happen up there. For that, I may have to start on Friday night and hope they play on Monday just to get four days on Bourbon Street.
Sign me up.
All fun. All the time.
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